


Trying to Let The Love in

by spun809



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Happy Ending, Jealous!Reader, Jealousy, Song fic, kissing to make up, rocky relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spun809/pseuds/spun809
Summary: You and Dean are getting into a bad pattern in your relationship. Keeping secrets, pushing away your feelings, and letting tensions flair. Is your love strong enough to pass the test?





	Trying to Let The Love in

He was always busy, with monsters, with victims of Supernatural circumstance, or Sammy and it seemed even though the two of you were now dating, nothing had changed. From the line his eyes drew when you two were in a room together, it seemed like his gaze was anywhere than on you. A perfect example of what was causing you to grit your teeth whenever he laid down in bed with you at night. Wishing that his arms would wrap around you, pulling you tight against him, instead of watching him as his back turned to you and he wrapped himself like an octopus around the edge of your comforter. He seemed to be so caught up in the grind of daily living, he didn’t have room for you. 

Things between you and the sandy blond haired, shady green eyed Winchester were getting rough. Knowing yourself and acknowledging that you were just the kind of girl that needed some frequent attention to be reminded of how much you were loved was a looming part of the problem, but Dean didn’t seem to understand that. Each time you went to take the plunge and let him know your feelings, however, you felt an icy chill creep into your chest, no matter how frustrated you felt you didn’t want to push so hard you lost him. You loved him unconditionally, and it wasn’t just jealousy at watching him cater to every person in his life except for you, it was just a wish to be a part of it. 

“What is your problem today?” He asked as you slammed one of the kitchen cabinets, standing on your tiptoes, while he leaned back in a chair eyes level with your navel, moving further from your miniature outburst. 

“Nothing.” You had nothing to add, if he couldn’t see it, you couldn’t explain it to him. 

He just rolled his eyes, “sure, I can see that.” 

You left the groceries that you were putting away, abandoning the bag of apples you were dealing with and letting them roll around on the counter and stormed out of the room. Beelining for your bedroom, figuring that with you in such a fiery mood, Dean was less than likely to try and follow. 

Slamming the door behind you, you started looking at random objects, you swept your fingers over the blank metallic surface of your phone. Tracing quickly through the various content that you knew by heart you pulled up some music. 

I'm jealous, I'm overzealous  
When I'm down I get real down  
When I'm high I don't come down  
But I get angry, baby, believe me  
I could love you just like that  
And I can leave you just as fast

You swayed your hips lightly, closing your eyes and letting the tune wash through you. It was your favorite way to de-stress when you were feeling out of control. Loving the way the lyrics mixed with your own emotions bringing them to life. You didn’t really think about the meaning behind the words, more the inflection and rise and fall of each line she was singing, instead, you just silently mouth along with the familiar words, you had heard it at least ten times this week alone. 

“Hey,” strong hands wound their way around your waist, stalling you, but you kept your eyes shut tight trying to gain one more second of calmness before you exploded out towards him. 

“I missed this.” You did too just feeling the way his breath ruffled the hair on the back of your neck was comforting and had your anger retreating. 

But you don't, judge me  
'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too  
No, you don't, judge me  
'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too

The pair of you were quick to settle back into your usual routine, you would wind your hands together as he drove the impala, and gazing out the window you would watch as the trees and houses tucked back from the edge of the backroads passed by in a speeding blur. His face would turn to you and his smile would glint in the summer sunlight, his eyes bright with love. Both of you would tease each other playfully, laughing until tears sprang up into your eyes.

“It’s your turn Winchester, what is your guilty pleasure?” You asked you liked to play games like this on the long drive too far away hunts. 

“Pie and boobs.” He winked at you. 

“Whatever,” you huffed along with his ego showing off, “I know you have a thing for Dr. Sexy, that is way more of a guilty pleasure.” 

He glared at you but there was no real heat behind it. Things were easy. 

All too soon, however, distance started to creep in. There were long nights laying beside each other in dirty motels, that reeked of stale tobacco and sweat, and you couldn’t touch each other as his brother snored softly in a bed only a foot away. Then there were the building tensions as the pair of you continued to grow apart, the touches were lighter, the air was heavy and as you watched him bat his long lashes at a tube top wearing blond bar waitress, you clenched you teeth together, feeling the slight burn as you bit at the corner of your lip and instead of screaming you went and slammed the door of Baby as you kicked your feet out the passenger window and laid down with your head in the place where your boyfriend normally sat. 

You do shit on purpose  
You get mad and you break things  
Feel bad, try to fix things  
But you're perfect, poorly wired circuit  
And got hands like an ocean  
Push you out pull you back in

A squealing grind of metal, had your eyes springing open. His face was drawn and the lines on his forehead were deep as he glared at you. Your attention was drawn to where his fist was clench so tight around the frame of the door that his knuckles were white, you wondered why things got so bad between the two of you. 

“What happened back there?” His voice was deep, it was the octave that told you more than the exact speech he was giving, just how pissed he was. 

“You looked busy,” you kept your tone light and easy, knowing it would drive him crazier, “so did you get her number or what?”

You pulled your head away from the door as you watched him go to slam it closed again. You thought about calling out to him but a part of you wasn’t sure it was really worth it. Sometimes when his face was filled with blood a red blush stinging on his cheeks in rage, you knew that you weren’t going to be able to talk things through. It was the absolute worst moment to confess that what you needed was the be the one he was dying to flirt with in the smelly, dimly lit, backwoods bar. You wanted to see him show off that it was you that he got to bring home at night. 

You hated where things were headed with Dean, you loved him, even this part of him that couldn’t reign in his anger because you knew it came from a place of worry. You hadn’t told him you were going out to the car and you knew that the moment he had gone back to bring your drink to the table he had started to panic, worried for your safety. It was part of the reason you had come out here in the first place. 

“Dean,” you called out into the chilly night air, “wait.” 

In the distance, you heard what sounded like the skidding to a stop of heavy boots against dirt and crunching gravel. 

'Cause I got issues, but you got 'em too  
So give 'em all to me and I'll give mine to you  
Bask in the glory, of all our problems  
'Cause we got the kind of love it takes to solve 'em  
Yeah, I got issues (I got)  
And one of them is how bad I need you (You got 'em too) 

“I’m sorry,” you forced the words out, “I love you.” 

His eyes immediately softened, and instead of walking back inside where it was warmer and he could get a drink, you knew he probably wanted one desperately, he came towards you. 

“I love you too, so are you going to finally tell me what’s been going on this past couple of months?” He was moving his face closer to yours, looking beyond your vacant expression to what you were holding on to deep inside of yourself. 

“I feel like we are drifting apart,” you hesitated. Trying to reel in your mind and think about each point you were trying to make, not blaming or directing your anger towards him, instead, putting it into a context of how alone you have felt recently. 

Fingers wound between your own and you looked up, peering at the smile that was beginning to mingle on his face, he could read you so well. It built your confidence to continue. You took a heavy breath, feeling the way the sweetness of the evergreens surrounding the parking lot, rushed past your tongue as it passed into your lungs. Reviving you. 

Squeezing his hand you plowed forward, “I need more from you, Dean, I need you to show me that you love me, sometimes I want to be put first, before battling monsters or family stuff.” 

“Come here,” he twirled your around until you were pressed firmly against his chest, you felt it hitching slightly with emotion against your left ear, a hand gently swept your chin up and tilted it towards his face. 

His lips pressed hard against your own. The faint yeasty tang of beer was wafting around him, you could almost taste the bubbles of his past drink as his tongue swept into your parted mouth and rubbed against yours. You could feel his top lip curl upwards as he started to smile against you. Clearly, he enjoyed the way the two of you were currently pushing together. 

A frown formed suddenly as you pushed against his chest breaking the kiss you were sharing, there was something about the way he thrust his lower lip out as he pouted that melted your heart. 

“We should do this more often,” you quipped at him. 

“It’s a deal baby,” and he kissed you again.


End file.
